segunda-feira, 13 de fevereiro de 2012

Open letter to germans who are being german to Portugal

Dear mister germans,

It seems that you think portugal is filled with people who spend days at the beach to work for the bronze. Or that we just play swedish in the cafés. Or that we only listen to fado and weep and drink wine or jars of blooding. It is not always the case. Portuguese are the peoples in europe that work the most. And we love to work. Envious peoples from other countries say we are the least productive, but that is because we love to work so much we hate to finish things. We know it is hard for you to understand this because you germans really like finish things, like cars, roads or jews.

This is how you see us, old dated and vulgar...


...but this is how we really are: sophisticated and urban trendy.


We know we are not technical. You play with Mecano legos since you are 2 years old and by 10 you can built a bmw. We play with cans, sticks, bones and footballs. It is true we are not gifted to build things that work with electricity, but we built your country with our emigrants.You are unable to lay bricks and cement because your hands need to be very soft and precise to work with computers and computer mouses. If it wasn’t for portuguese you would suffer very much when its a cold of cracking, because there would be no house for your nice gadgets.


This is a typical german car of toying...

... and this is a typical portuguese car of toying.


We respect other peoples, we respect your right to be nazis and we really want to be friends with you. Not because you have the monies, but because we love you and we feel we deserve to be loved by you. We do not impose our vision of things to other countries. We respect spanish people and we call them nuestros hermanos, even though we think spanish people should be eliminated because they talk very loud. That is our way to be.  We respect brasilian people and call them povo irmão, even though we think they are all prostitutes and gangsters and they should be banned. We are nice to peoples in general.

Why wont Angelita Merkl be our chicken mother? Why? We could be her model son. We know we are rebel children and easily distracted but when we grow up, Im sure we will be adults and built nice cars and take care of Angelita when she is old and has alzheimer. Family values mean alot to us. Here in portugal it is always our parents who gives us german cars when we turn 18 and buy us houses when we marry.


If she friend and teacher of litle children of color, why she no friend of portuguese?

You posess the money printer. We canot print monies but you can. Why cant you print some for us?
We can print monies here if you want to. I have a nice printer at office and I’m sure many portuguese would help and print monies. Just send us the 50 euros bill pdf file.

Thank you,
Tolan

14 comentários:

mónica* disse...

genial! i help you print the 50 monies for sure.

Izzie disse...

"you germans really like finish things, like cars, roads or jews."
:D I lobe iu.

a.i. disse...

haha o toque genial no fim do pdf com a nota de 50 euros

POC disse...

Eish...GOLD :)

Bookworm disse...

Priceless! I loved it!

Rita F. disse...

E sair de casa amanhã de manhã com este cold of cracking? Very hard. E ainda por cima sem monies no nosso casaco e sem loving na nossa alma. Cantavam this way os Pedras Rolantes.
Você é something else.

Anónimo disse...

Que estupidez de comentários. Só me lembra estúpidos a chamarem génio a outro estúpido, uma genialidade pegada de parte a parte.

A todos as minhas desculpas, mas o post é banalíssimo.

Anónimo disse...

Anónimo I, caso não tenha percebido, o post é para rir. E está muito engraçado, pelo menos para quem tem um sentido de humor banal =)

Anónimo disse...

De engraçado a genial é que vai o passo tonto, até aí está tudo bem. Um gajo que dá um peidinho em dois tempos é engraçado, agora ser apelidado de génio...haja saúde.

Sãozinha disse...

Genial!

anouc disse...

O Anónimo I deve ser alemão...

Anónimo I disse...

Ahahahah. Genial Anouc, genial.

a.i. disse...

Não, o Anónimo é o outro pretendente da namorada do Tolan e está claramente numa de negação: não, não, mas o que é que ELA vê nele?!? genial?? pffff

Sofia disse...

Deve ser dos melhores posts que escreveste ultimamente.