quinta-feira, 7 de julho de 2011

open letter to Moody

Dear Mr. Moody,

We tries. We really really tries here at our great country who ivented India and Brazil. We was not very happy with A- but still, it was A. But now we only got B in your speculative expectations class and our parents are going to kill us when they find out :(

Mr Father Christmas already told us that this Christmas we would only have half of our presents because we was not good people. It is really sad to recieve half of new iPad because it probably will not work. But now with B, Father Christmas will give us socks, not even iPad battery and included cables and instructions.

We feels this is very much unfair because this time we said we was going to try really very hard, study very much and grow very much and spend very less and pay the monies to the jews.

But it is like you read our mind. You knew that we would be garbage before we were garbage. This is much shock to us and it really changed the way we think of ourselfes and afected our self-estime. We need therapy now.

Yesterday we looks at mirror and see brave potuguese who invented square tactic to punch spanish toreros in the face and build greatest bridge in europe that we celebrated with the biggest beanary in the world and owned half the world and gave the other half to the spanish toreros because they were crying like babies.  Today we look at the mirror and we see garbage.

And not even recyclabe garbage, like the one in the yellow, blue or green containers. Just garbage, like spines of sardines and banana peals and leftovers of pizza.Now all the american raccoons will want to live here and we will have infestation!

But this will not last long! America has superpower of secret recipe of Coca-Cola. Germany has superpower of making german cars. French have superpower of making museums like Louvre that magically atract foreign valuable things. Italians have superpower of having a country called Italy. Spanish have the superpower of thinking they have superpower. But only we have superpower of desenrascanço!

This is such a superpower that it is impossible to translate to mortal foreing languages like english or american. We are able of thinking of many great ways of solving things when things neeed to be solved. If USA was governed by Portuguese, we would have captured mr Bin Laden in 1999 using bits of chouriço and a fishing net.

We are misunderstood geniouses, like Einstein. He also had B in "relativity theory" class but he left university and invented relativity theory and got AAA in it. And his parents were much happy and sorry that Father Christmas gave him socks the year before. His work created the atomic bomb that you used to downgrade the rating of Japan.

We are not afraids. We will study speculative expectations such much that we will have AAAAAAAAAAARGH FUCK YOU+++  in the end of the year!

Best regards
the portuguese peoples

10 comentários:

Anónimo disse...

Fuck yea! Chalenge acepted.

Vareta disse...


biobloga disse...


Laura disse...

Entrega ao Mr. Moody um grande fuck da minha parte também...

Walter Ego, o Mestre disse...

The superpower of desenrascanço!!!! YES! We are great!!!!


Tiago disse...

hahaha genial bro. este post tá mítico.

a.i. disse...

Olá Tolan, venho informar que embora eu não tenha facebook e por isso não posso partilhar a tua genialidade com os meus amigos, ainda assim copiei este post e enviei por email com o devido link a duas ou três pessoas, para verem como TU ÉS O MAIOR TOLAN, CASA COMIGO! (ok, pronto, isto não é um promessa de casamento a sério, é só entusiasmo)

Anónimo disse...

As manifestações de desagrado devem ser feitas, mas em paralelo tomem atitudes que ajudem a fazer a diferença:

- Não comprem/invistam ou seja o que for de marcas que movimentam o os dólares americanos!

Maria disse...

Muito bom!!!

Anónimo disse...

we thinks this is good.